We are going to DD's for Thanksgiving and we are looking forward to it. Our son, all the kidlets, along with DD's in-laws will be there. There's been some hinting that DD's in-laws might ask us to go to their house for Christmas Day dinner.
This will be a nice gesture on their part, but DH and I had come to the conclusion a few weeks back that this is one of those days we'd just like to stay at home. We do travel down for Christmas Eve to see the grandchildren, DD & her DH & exchange gifts that evening. Christmas day always seems so hectic, we (DH & myself) open gifts in the AM, DH likes to stay casual that day and watch some football etc...and a big thing is they live a fair distance away from us.
Any one else in this predicament or have been so in the past? How do you handle it very graciously & gently? Any suggestions?
DO NOT REGRET GROWING OLDER.
IT'S A PRIVILEGE DENIED TO MANY.
Don't wait for them or anyone else to bring up the subject. Say it just the way you stated it here.
AMEN ! You said it perfectly......stand tall and stick to your guns.
I've never had that situation myself, but I know so many people who do! They've all said how hectic and frantic Christmas Eve and/or Day is for them because they feel they have to go here, there, and everywhere. I would hate that myself. I've always said they should just tell the other family members that they want to start some Christmas traditions in their own home, so they won't be traveling on Christmas Day.
Unfortunately, most don't do that and just keep doing the same thing every year, and resenting it.
We always went to to my grandmother's house both on Christmas Eve night and then again Christmas afternoon. But she only lived about 10 miles away. Still, after she died when I was 13, my family stayed at home on Christmas rather than going to an aunt's house or anything like that, and it was just much better. There have been times when I traveled to be with family on the holidays, but I stopped doing that. I want to enjoy the holidays, not be exhausted by them! And I have my own traditions that are every bit as meaningful even if there's no one else here to watch me enjoy them. I love the holidays!
We use the kids as our excuse. Christmas Eve,the day before,the day after,but we go nowhere on Christmas day. That way the kids get to stay home and enjoy their presents. And staying home and not having to deal with the stress of dealing with relatives,is our present to each other.
Of course,that wont work for you,lol,but that's how I would handle it. Just tell them that is a special day for the two of you and you prefer to stay home. Maybe you could suggest another day.
MarthaMI want to enjoy the holidays, not be exhausted by them!
That's perfect! Martha's right - so many people just make themselves miserable instead stating their peace. When my boys were wee little they were holy terrors! One Christmas I traveled that was IT - I spent the entire time telling them all the things they couldn't touch. They were bored and I couldn't enjoy my family because they had to be watched constantly. They wanted to be home playing with their toys. From that point on, we stayed home. Folks either understood - or didn't, but my family was happy and our holiday was enjoyable.
Say something ahead of time "Mr & I can't wait to have a quiet day alone on Christmas!"
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Thanks for the suggestions. I lean toward being frank & honest. The last thing I want to do is to hurt her feelings. So I may sincerely say just that.
I started doing this years ago. Just saying I'm staying home and having a quiet holiday.
One of my DDs goes through this with her inlaws, she sometimes does stand firm and stays home and cooks and has the day to themselves (their own little family). But doesn't feel she can do it EVERY holiday.
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