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OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas

Last post Nov 27, 2007 3:23 PM by Transylvania . 26 replies.


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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    i buy the married couples a nice together gift..this year one is getting henckel knoves and the other cookware..both really needed...then a few gifts per adult. the guys usually get a sweatshirt of their favorite team and a gift card $100. and the girls about $125. worth of gifts. i know this is too much but i can't help myself. this hasn't even included the grandkids! i am buying them a couple of toys each and then books and clothes. i need to go to a gift buyers anonymous meeting! i am pathetic! help me! i really hate to shop too!
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    i spend $25 each adult child and each spouse/or 50 max for a couples gift.
    $50.00 on each grandchild
    with wee trinkets i pick up through out the year.
    i am almost done my shopping!
    with 6 kids with spouses, and 6 grandkids!! i am broke!!
    but a happy gal
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    We spend $100 on each of our 4 kids and their spouses (so that's $800) and $50 per grandchild (three of those). I think that's MORE than generous.

    But DH insists on giving each couple $200 cash as well as the gifts.

    He's a dork. If he dies before me, the family will be sad at Christmas cuz I won't do the cash thing.

    LOL
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    I give each of my 3 married DDs and spouses a $50.00 gift certificate to a local restaurant, 1 gift each to my 6 grandkids and 1 gift each to the spouses that are married, and 1 gift each to my 6 great grandkids. They are not greedy, and know the gifts are given with love, and IMHO thats all the matters. Judy
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    IN GOD WE TRUST

  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    We buy nothing for our adult children. (And they buy nothing for us) We do spend $100 on each grandchild.
    Last year, we stopped buying for our childless son and his wife, after the 3rd year of them buying us restaurant gift cards for the same amount and same restaurant as we got them.
    Actually, I think the best present we give them is the right to NOT buy for us.
    In my in law's case, until a few years ago, she always got us Reader's Digest for a year, and we got her a year of the local newspaper. Another son got her a month of free phone service, a daughter paid a month electric, etc. Yes, you can go to utilities and pay in advance for someone else's acct...at least in this area.
    One thing that complicates the issue for our family is that they are spread all over the country, and won't be home. Mailing presents cost more than the present itself, and you risk damage or loss, or even just delay. Returns are a pain, and you don't see them open the gift anyway....the mailman gets the credit.
    Even if they were to come home, presents need to fit in the luggage.
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    We give our children and their spouses each $100 plus a small gift (around $30) We do the same for my Mom. Grandkids..I just buy for them what I want them to have...usually around $100. For birthdays we give everyone (all 11 of them) $50 each. They always know what they are getting and have mentally spent it already! *L* The little gift is their "surprise". I have a lot of fun buying the "surprises"!

    I LOVE!! Christmas!

    Becky
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    I love to shop for my family and I'm assuming I always will. I will always hear my DH saying I don't need to spend so much so I will always vow to not tell him until he asks (but the damage is done.)It's a wonderful game we have always played with each other and he knows that idf I can't spoil my family, I would feel odd!!!
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    You could perhpas say, " due to the economy we will have to cut back this year". Just forwarn her so that her expectations won't be so high and perhaps she will appreciate what you give her after you have cut down.
    Try not to feel guilty. Call a paster and ask how he would advise you and how not to have guilt.
    It sounds like you are almost forced to buy her gifts.
    Set aside a small amount and when that is gone then you don't buy NO more.
    I know it isn't easy. I have an easy husband like you and he would give it all away to the kids if I didn't stop him. I once said to him, " who is going to take care of us when you give it all away and we are old. His reply was " oh , let the governement take care of us" I couldn't believe he even said that. He thinks that all his lfe he has worked and paid out sooooooooooo much to the government that he some day they can take care of him.
    My final words are that sooner or later you will have to cut down and it is btter sooner than later. If you let her down gently it will be easier for her too. Then next year cut that down too. Each year cut out.
    She is guilting you and soon the grandchildren will do it too because they have had a good teacher," mom".
    You have to put on the brakes sometime. It will be empowering for her too and it will not make her a person who thinks they are entitled . We already have too many of them in the world.
    I have done what you are doing and I did what I am telling you to do. So be STRONG so you can have a relation ship with her that isn't about gifts.
    Happy Holidays, hope what I said made sense to you.
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    Saving to read after work.
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    SCSG Jan blue eyed mouse siggy

    ~~The most important things in life aren't things!~~ 

      

     


     

  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    I buy each of the kids something they really want. DD needs new cookware, DS needs a new muffler for his truck. They will also get a couple of little things too. I have never set limits as I hate to shop. When they were little we did over buy you would have thought Santa's bag exploded in my living room. Now I look back and think what a waste, but they were happy. DH and I still overdo with the grandkids. Still have 2 teens at home, DH wants to get them the Wii system.
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    My mom gave us $100 cash and a $25 present under the tree plus our stocking stuffed when we lived at home. 3 teenage girls were always happy.
    Once we got married, she added a $25 present for our spouse. Now, our money situation is tight and she just gives us the cash amount and really I mostly use that for gifts for my children. We don't buy for each other now. My sisters give the girls cash. We just look for little things all year long for my toddler nephews (My sister would never be caught dead in a discount/dollar store) They love magic washcloths, soccer ball notepads and stuff like that.

    My in-laws are the problem. They just buy junk or what I consider thoughtless gifts (last year it was camping cots for the girls to sleep on--they only camp 3 times a yr) My SIL and Bil both work and spend approx $600 apiece on their boys plus they get generous allowances--see where this goes--what do you buy for kids who have everything?

    I always get them a meal out at Pizza Hut/Long John Silvers because they love to eat there. My SIL and BIL get a meal at a really nice deli place they like.

    Just tell your daughter kindly that things have to change. We read another post that said they give--
    something you want,
    something you need,
    something to eat, and
    something to read.
    Our older girls have been told this will be what they receive after they graduate in the next 2 years. Of course, the amount spent could still be widely interpreted!

    Hope you can find a solution.
    Take care--
    KarenB
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  • RE: OT how much do you spend on adult children for Christmas
    I too spend about 50 dollars on each of my five children.and their spouses.I have 11 grandchildren and four of them are married,That's another $50 each. Its difficukt cutting down.
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