OT: How do you get over the feeling | Taste of Home Community  
Show Subscription Form




OT: How do you get over the feeling

Last post Jan 28, 2005 10:41 PM by PamH . 10 replies.


Forum Jump:
Page 1 of 1 (11 items)
  • OT: How do you get over the feeling
    that you've let someone down?
    DS got a speeding ticket about 2yrs ago. He'd only had his license for about a month. Both DH and I thought that he needed to pay the ticket and learn responsiblity. Other parents have gone to court and gotten their kids probation. We didn't really think that it was a good option at that point. Now we find out that if we had gone to court and gotten the probation it would have been for only one year (assuming that there were no more violations) and then nothing on his record. I found this out today. Now I really feel that we have let him down. Yes he did learn a lesson but is paying dearly on his auto insurance for it.
    How do I get over this feeling?

    Gail
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    You did what you thought was right. Who knows, he may not have learned from it and gotten himself into a bigger mess. Truth and honesty always win in the end. I would shop around for another insurance company. We found one that doesn't even consider past tickets. Look around for a cheaper rate.
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    Gail. Parents can only do what they think is best. We are human and fail at times. There is no guidebook on how to be a good parent. We just think there are. You must follow your heart and it sounds to me like you did. You didn't let him down. You allowed him to find out what it is to take responsibility for what he did and that is what any good parent would do. Don't be so hard on yourself.
    BJ
    False

    Find more about Weather in New Bedford, MA

  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    Hi Gail~

    I tried to post earlier, but couldn't. Anyway, I don't know how you get past that feeling, but I do think you did the right thing. I guess I don't think you should feel like you let him down, honestly. I hit a parked car when I was in college, driving my dad's car, on my dad's insurance. I tried to find the person it belonged to on a residential street, but no one knew whose car it was. I knocked on doors, etc. I honestly didn't know I should have left a note with our number on it, and didn't think twice about it. A neighbor called the police when I went into my girlfriend's house, and I was charged with leaving the scene of an accident. My father's insurance skyrocketed for a couple years, and he was upset that I didn't use more sense and call him when it happened. Anyway, the point is, there are consequences to our actions, whether you're an adult or a young kid. I don't think you let him down at all. He'll survive paying high insurance rates for a couple years, and maybe he won't do something warranting a ticket again.

    Amy
    False

  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    Any type of court action would have raised the insurance rates....don't you think?

    We were faced with a similiar dilema.
    Our DD had some kids run out in front of a vehicle 2 in front of her and they all slammed on the brakes as did she..unfortunately the hiked up truck in front of her had a 2 foot hitch out the back end...and ended up embedded in our engine.

    It was $5K to fix and 3 years worth of higher rates.

    We never thought this was her fault, but the policeman said..10% for being on the road. go figure.
    She did learn a really good lesson. Even better attentiveness and following farther behind! We let it be and didn't hire an attorney to fight it.

    It probably is a valuable lesson for your DS..I don't think you let him down. Bartering your way out of a situation that was truly your fault is not the HIGH road.
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    honey you didnt let him down ... not at all ... he is the one who got the ticket for speeding only after a month with a license .... you didnt do anything honey that was wrong.

    you are a responsible parent that did the correct thing at the right time.

    The money on the insurance because of the ticket is that money .... but how do you know if it also may have saved a life ....

    and honey, when our children are babies we can fix the booboo's with a cartoon bandaid .... but when they get older ... you cant ... and believe me you, that is such a heart tugging experience each time it happens.
    God bless you, granny
    False
    °º·¤.¸¯`°º·¤.¸¯`°º·¤.¸ ♥ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°
    ~~ CELEBRATE YOUR FREEDOM
    AND THANK AN AMERICAN SOLDIER!!! ~~
    ¸.¤·º°´¯ ♥ ¯`°º·¤. ♥♥~♥♥¸.¤·º°´¯ ♥ ¯`°º·¤.
    ¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ♥ ¯`°º·¤. ¸¯`°º·¤. ¸¯`°

     

  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    In our city when any one uder the age of 18 gets a ticket the judge gives them an option of working it off and it will not go on their record. They work for the city doing various jobs every Saturday or after school and they have to go to traffic school for 8 hours. The judge recommneds the working it off so the parents aren't bailing them out and not putting the parents in a hardship about insurance. One Saturday of picking up trash all day in public was all it took for DD to pay attention to her driving.
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    Don't beat yourself up over this. You did what you thought was right. He did make a mistake and should answer for it.

    Here in Florida and I'm sure its this elsewhere, you can pay the ticket and go to Driver's school to avoid points on your record. But you can only do that so often. I really think the Driver's school is a good idea, just a one day course. Also, insurance is high for the young ones until they are 25 or married. It doesn't matter whether you are male or female, the rates ARE high.

    Also, in reference to not following too close--I try to do that, but other drivers cut in front of me and take that "safety" space away. I think that sometimes its a losing battle. A lot of people want to be on your bumper and here where I live, we get all kinds of drivers from the north as well as a lot of bad drivers who live here. People either speed or drive too slow. What's wrong with hanging around the speed limit?? They whiz by you going up to 95 at least on the Interstate 75. I know its the same all over. You just have to be careful and on your toes.

    Lou
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    I did the same thing...but guess what...My son has been a careful responsible driver with no further tickets and no accidents. I can't say the same for one of his friends who 'got off'. He has wrecked cars and caused people injury..and, expected to get off easy every single time. My son is going to law school, working, and in a car he bought with ins. he pays for. His friend is walking to nowhere still looking for the easy way. Perhaps you did the perfect thing. May you live to see the fruits of your action in the same way. Mary
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    When DS ran into the same thing, and he was in the wrong, he had to suffer the consequences. On the same token, when he was incorrectly ticketed for not having insurance (when he did), we hired a lawyer and took the prosecuter down to the wire and won the case. When we're wrong, we have to suffer the consequences. When we're right, it's our duty to put up a fight. You did nothing wrong. If the only thing your son did wrong was a speeding ticket, he must be a wonderful kid.
    False
  • RE: OT: How do you get over the feeling
    I wouldn't feel too badly about it. Is he a good driver now? A responsible young man? How is a parent suppossed to know everything?

    I'm not sure that one ticket really makes or breaks insurance rates. It's pretty costly for young men everywhere. I work in risk management for a large company screening drivers and we really don't worry about 1 speeding ticket. Now if there is a pattern of bad driving over the last 3-5 years, that's another story.

    Just keep on being a great parent! Encourage your son to hang in there with all the challenges that come his way in life and have the right attitude about things.
    False