Anyone gay here?

Last post 03-10-2008 5:11 PM by Lvs2cook. 63 replies.
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  • 03-09-2008 12:59 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    Well, I won't argue what God does or does not think, because God doesn't make me privvy to that information.  And I won't argue that the Bible was written by the hand of man, because that's been done to death.

     

    I will argue that, no, absolutely not(!!!) are loving someone and thieving from someone the same thing.  Nope.  Not gonna buy that line for minute.  When you steal from someone you deliberatley hurt someone.  When you love a person of the same gender, you are not hurting anyone.  The same thing???  As my neice would say, Puhleeeeeeeez!!!

     

    However, as the owner of your home, you have the right to lay down the law about what does and does not go on in your home.  When the same neice got in trouble and was questioned by the DEA in my home, I made it clear to them that guns were not allowed into my home under any circumstances and they could leave them in the car or question her on the sidewalk.  Like anyone with a modicum of respect, they chose to leave their guns in the car.   By the same token, I don't go into peoples' homes and have sex.  But showing that kind of respect is one thing.  Comparing my love for another man to crimes in which people are harmed is a whole other thing, and it offends me that you would make that comparison.  You made the point that homosexuals CHOOSE to be homosexual.  I don't think that's true, but given that as the starting point for debate, it works the same way.  If someone is robbed, they are a victim, with no choice.  If someone is offended that I have sex with a man, they are NOT being hurt in any way by that, and they are CHOOSING to be offended.  

     

    Like I said, I know you meant well.  But your argument is full of holes.   And it is more than condescending...it is more than insulting...it is more than arrogant to say that just because someone does not share YOUR beliefs that they do not have a personal relationship with God.

  • 03-09-2008 1:14 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    CharlesR_female:

    Yes I know they have -sexual urges toward the same sex. 

    However they can choose not to follow these urges. 

    Well, that's easy for YOU to say.  That's one of many, many, many reasons I abandoned Christianity as soon as I left home.  I'm not gay, but I don't think gay people should be forced to deny their natural sexual preference because it falls outside the rules of some old book written by bigoted, chauvenistic men who still thought the world was flat (if God was helping write this, you'd think he'd clued them into that important detail).  I don't believe one iota that "God" had anything to do with the writing of the Bible and I don't need that old book to tell me what is right and what is wrong...I follow my own conscience.




  • 03-09-2008 1:53 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    I have not read all the post, just the first few.  You talk of having to bury your son because of AIDS...well, you could bury your straight child because of AIDS...it is not just a "gay disease". Or we could loose  children to any disease or accident.  Love them while you have them.  My children are all straight so I do not have to deal with this issue...but there are worse things than having a gay child...drugs, murderers, child abusers...I think I would prefer to deal with a gay child who is a loving and kind person anyday. 

  • 03-09-2008 8:57 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    I apologize in advance for the length of this but I have a lot to say – and even more that I am not posting due to length.  You have received a lot a wonderful advice from fellow posters but here is my 2 cents…

     

     

     

     

    Lvs2cook:        Communicate with your son. If you have a question – ask him!  I would think he would be most willing to answer, unless of course it is of a very personal nature.  Treat him the same as you always have.  Treat him the same as you treat his siblings – assuming he is not an only child.  As others have said, he is the same person today that he was yesterday.  Nothing has changed.  Just remember, he did not choose to be gay – he was gay before birth.  He probably knew in grade school that he was gay and has been in turmoil since trying to figure out how not to be gay in a straight world.  I assume that he knows that your religion is not accepting and that adds an extra level of fear of rejection by his parents – who should be there for him – as I assume you want to be.  I have a dear friend who was raised as a Pentecostal, her dad was the pastor and she was the organist.  When her son came out, she knew that he was NOT an abomination as she had been raised to believe.  She did a ton of reading and research and came to the conclusion that her son is the same person he always was before she found out he was gay and just because she now knew, it made no difference to her.  When she talked to elders or whatever they are called in the Pentecostal religion, she was kicked out of the church for loving her son and not casting him aside just because he is gay.  My question to you is…what did you believe before you were born again? 

     

     

     

     

    Someone brought up not having grandchildren, or a DIL.  Well, many gay couples still have children either by adoption or a surrogate mother.  I know of a couple who had a surrogate mom and now are the proud dads of triplets!  They are the most loving, caring dads a child could ever want!  And…there is absolutely nothing wrong with a SIL!  Sometimes the SIL’s are closer than the DIL’s.

     

     

     

     

    As far as HIV/AIDS, if he takes precautions, he will not have to worry about it.  Statistically, teenage girls are more at risk at the moment.  Here is a site with stats:  http://www.until.org/statistics.shtml

     

     

     

     

    Quote from BlueDenim and also stated by others “it does not mean that your son is bad, immoral, or a sinner”  “Gay people have a hard road because of the hatred, bigotry, discrimination, ignorance and ridicule heaped on them.  Knowing that his family accepts him will make a big difference in his life!” 

     

     

     

     

    The worst thing you can say to him is that you love the sinner but hate the sin – that is so overused and untrue -- meaning it is not a sin to be who you are.

     

     

     

     

    Walk a mile in his shoes; take the time to meet his gay friends.  I believe you will find that your life is enriched if you do.  As I suggested in another post, go to a PFLAG meeting in your area, take your son along if he is willing to join you.  Again their site is www.pflag.org, there are many caring individuals there.  When you go to the PFLAG site, there is a chapter locator there to find a meeting close to your home.

     

     

     

     

    You can get through this without compromising your relationship with your son if you will take the time to get educated about what he is going through and keep an open mind.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    (((Oldgirl)))  my heart goes out to you.  That is one wound that time will never heal.  Quote from Oldgirl:  “Don't ever let any of your friends tell you he could "change" if he wanted to.  Anyone who says that is ignorant and uninformed.  He was born that way.  He didn't choose to be gay.“  So true!!!!

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Widdle – I agree with many who said that there is no need for an apology.  This is a hot topic on any given day and as SOF said “Certainly your suspicions were well-founded, given the history of this board.”

     

     

     

     

     

     

    CharlesR – People do not choose to be gay, that decision is made long before they are born.  Lvs2cook’s son is not a sinner.  He is a young man discovering who he is.  As far as “allowing nothing to go on under your roof that God wouldn’t approve of”, they will do what is natural for them no matter where it is – and when her son brings his SO home, I would hope that the rules for him would be no different than the rules for her other children.  You state “Yes I know they have -sexual urges toward the same sex.   However they can choose not to follow these urges.”  Why should they choose not to follow the way God made them?  You also compare being gay to being an alcoholic or a criminal – not even close.  And…SOF made a good point, deliberately hurting someone by stealing and loving someone of the same gender -- not comparable either.. My wish for you is to walk a mile in a gay persons shoes.  I think you will then “see the light.”

     

     

    ♀♀ = Love
    ♂♂ = Love
    ♀♂ = Love

    A strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.

    -the movie Barnyard

    Click for Milwaukee, Wisconsin Forecast
  • 03-09-2008 9:42 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    Pinky50:

     My wish for you is to walk a mile in a gay person shoes.  

     

     

     

    Not my shoes! 

  • 03-09-2008 9:57 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    Soldier___Of___Fowl:

    Pinky50:

     My wish for you is to walk a mile in a gay person shoes.  

     

     

     

     

    Not my shoes! 

     

     

    LOL!  Now, we ALL know that no one could ever fill your shoes! 

    ♀♀ = Love
    ♂♂ = Love
    ♀♂ = Love

    A strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.

    -the movie Barnyard

    Click for Milwaukee, Wisconsin Forecast
  • 03-09-2008 10:00 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    The Bible has 12 scriptures about homosexuality but over 200 about helping the less-fortunate.  Why do the Christians always focus on the homosexuality?

    brigidSleep


    Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight.-Albert Schweitzer
  • 03-09-2008 10:11 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    brigid by the lake:

    The Bible has 12 scriptures about homosexuality but over 200 about helping the less-fortunate.  Why do the Christians always focus on the homosexuality?

    brigidSleep

     

    Good question Brigid!

    ♀♀ = Love
    ♂♂ = Love
    ♀♂ = Love

    A strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.

    -the movie Barnyard

    Click for Milwaukee, Wisconsin Forecast
  • 03-09-2008 10:34 PM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    I'd like to thank everyone who offered their sympathy on the loss of my son.  I appreciate your kind words.  There are many on this BB who have lost a child, and they are all hurting, too. 

     

     


    CharlesR---
    You are the kind of person I was talking about in my first post.  You are ignorant about this whole subject.  Put down your Bible for awhile and read some other books that deal with homosexuality.  You will learn how wrong you are.  Then come back and post something that doesn't sound ridiculous and stupid. 


    Click for Rochester, Minnesota Forecast

  • 03-10-2008 8:15 AM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    I'm not gay but I just want to say that I commend you for wanting to understand more about your son and being such a loving mother. I think you have gotten some excellent advice from others on this thread. I applaud those who have taken the time to write intelligently about this subject.

  • 03-10-2008 9:12 AM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    i'm not gay either but i have three very close friends and one is a relative that are transexual and i couldn't love them anymore than if they were my own brothers and sisters. i accept them for who they are. we did have 4 but one passed away about three years ago and no, it wasn't AIDS, it was a stroke. just love them while you can and the rest will sort out as life goes on. treasa

    Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God, will come to know God because they know you.
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  • 03-10-2008 10:17 AM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    My younger (by 20 years) half brother was gay. I knew from the time he was a small boy that he was "different". He never told anyone, not even his older brother. Apparently he was afraid of not being accepted so he "fought his urges" the best way he knew how. His brother found him dead...prescription drugs and alcohol...22 years old. I believe that his mother and brother knew, but were in denial, they still claim his death was accidental.


  • 03-10-2008 10:44 AM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    My parents buried their straight 16 yr old son killed in a car accident. Any one of us could be gone tomorrow for any number of reasons so MHO is that if you find happiness in your life style and a loving mate – same or opposite sex – that is a good thing.
  • 03-10-2008 10:51 AM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    CharlesR, if you opened your Bible to find that love between a man and woman was wrong, could you go through life denying your "urges"? And if it's true that your god made us all, are you saying he made "mistakes" since it's a proven fact that this is not a life choice but the way people are born? (Not that I think gay people are mistakes.)

     To the original poster, I admire you and your husband for trying to find a sensitive way to handle this so that your child is not hurt. You must be loving parents as he was able to approach you and tell you this. My best to you all.

  • 03-10-2008 11:14 AM In reply to

    Re: Anyone gay here?

    Christ preached love, care, and compassion to everyone. To be a Christian is to emulate Christ, right? So you love no matter what.

     

    I have gay friends, and I cannot imagine them ever being straight. It's not who they are.

     

    And it's not a choice. Who would choose a sexual orientation that gets them ridiculed, abandoned, beat up, or even killed? Gayness is what a person is, not what a person chooses.

     

    Lvs2Cook, you're a good parent, and rejoice in being a parent of a wonderful young man!

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