Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Last post 04-10-2008 9:44 PM by bdett. 9 replies.
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  • 04-10-2008 11:32 AM

    Tongue Tied [:S] Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE:


     You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their Kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.


     
    My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.  Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?  I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.


     
    My butt was next.  I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.


      
    Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched.  One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.  This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time.  What could they do
    to me next?


     
    When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.  Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee!  Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me!  The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?


     
    THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.


     
     WARN YOUR FRIENDS!


     
    P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs.  I was lying in bed and they were gone!  But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.  Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
     

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  • 04-10-2008 11:34 AM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    ROFLOL...thanks for the belly laugh Kozy!








  • 04-10-2008 11:38 AM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    You are so funny, Kozy.  Unfortunately, these live body part robbers have expanded to the east coast and are thriving here too.

    Doesn't the approaching bathing suit season cause you dread?  Last year I was in a dressing room and a woman put on a bathing suit in the stall next to me.   She came out to look at the main mirror, looked so sad, and then said out loud, "I guess I won't be going to the beach anymore."  I wanted to tell her that there are more of us than there are those skinny magazine models, but I said nothing.  I should have said "See you at the beach."

    Rosemary

     

  • 04-10-2008 11:53 AM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

     Big Smile  So there's where my Boobs go every dang night....and I have to hunt for them!!!  I had thought several times they had been stolen until I started looking for them!

    OH MY GOODNESS!!! It doesn't really make me feel any better to realize I've been a victim of theft, but I know my parts must now be on a beauty in Hollywood.......

    now who in the world really owned the parts I was left with......good gracious! I'm appalled!!!!!

     

    Barbara 

  • 04-10-2008 12:23 PM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

     

    ViolaB 


    Click for Toronto Pearson, Ontario Forecast
  • 04-10-2008 2:55 PM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    OMG - my 2nd episode of laughing out loud - loudly today!!!

  • 04-10-2008 2:57 PM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    Is this covered by the theft portion of your homeowner's insurance?

  • 04-10-2008 4:33 PM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    I remember a few years ago I looked in the looking glass and wish I had not looked..I promised myself to never go swimming in public again.  Then one day I took the grandkids swimming. I heard giggling and LOL in the dressing room next to ours.  Soon out stepped four elderly woman dressed in swim suits and I will spare you a discription..Those ladies had more fun then anyone else there that day...and they taught me a lesson..They came to have fun and they did not care what others said or thought...And from that day on I didn't either...I love to go swimming and I do...If I look bad to others its their problem...

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  • 04-10-2008 6:00 PM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    OMG Kozy you are to funny.

     

     

  • 04-10-2008 9:44 PM In reply to

    Re: Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    Kozy this was so good... I printed it off... Thanks for Posting.. bdett

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