HL topic of the week 4/21 to 4/27 His & Hers eating

When men and women share a table and fridge

Restaurants are made for people-watching—where anyone with an interest in contemporary eating trends can keep an eye on the plates arriving at nearby tables. Engaged in a bit of this professional nosiness, I recently observed a server bringing a middle-aged couple their dinners. Not sure who had ordered what, he looked at the plates, then offered the woman the vegetarian entrée and placed the beef dish in front of her male companion. What sort of gender profiling was going on here?


 
As it turned out, the waiter had it right: there are gender differences in food selection. Men eat more meat and bread, while women consume more fruit, yogurt and diet soda. There are also gender differences in eating styles. Women take smaller bites and take longer to eat than men. When psychologists asked male and female volunteers to read sample food diaries and then make judgments about the diary writers—sight unseen, women who reported eating smaller meals were considered (by both male and female readers) to be more feminine, more concerned about their appearance and better looking than women who recorded larger meals.
 
Women, generally, have also been shown to eat less when they are with a desirable male partner than when they are with other women. I think I’ve moved past that. I would have spent three hungry decades if I tried to limit my intake when eating with my husband.

It’s no surprise that women are more likely than men to be on diets and are more dissatisfied with their body weight and shape. One large survey found that, of those people who were a healthy weight, 23 percent of the women perceived themselves as overweight, while only 9 percent of the men did. At the same time, of those who were actually overweight, 41 percent of the men versus 13 percent of the women thought their weight was about right. Men are obviously more accepting of their bodies and as a result seem to have a more relaxed approach about their food choices. To compound this, studies show that women think men favor much thinner women than the men in fact say they prefer.

One biological fact is inescapable: most women have lower calorie needs than men, and that means we have fewer extra calories to play with. The new USDA MyPyramid labels the extra calories that are leftover after our nutrient needs are met as “discretionary calories.” For my age, gender and activity level, I have 195 calories for the extras after I’ve gotten my recommended whole grains, fruits and vegetables, low-fat dairy and lean meats. My husband has 425. So while I may have to choose between dessert or a glass of wine, he gets to have both. What’s fair about that? I think because men grow up having this added flexibility, they are often more cavalier about what they eat. Does that make a difference to their health overall? Perhaps—American women do outlive men by about five years, but women also outlive men in virtually every country in the world, suggesting the influence of many factors other than diet.

Still, I think we can learn from each other. While as women we can be tough on ourselves, it probably means we tend to be more attentive to our health. And with 87 percent of American women saying they are the person most responsible for their household’s meals, we’re the primary gatekeepers for the food that comes into our family kitchens. I think the men in our lives often benefit from our vigilance. But at the same time, women’s diets can improve when they share meals with men. A friend goes the extra mile to serve healthy foods at home because her physician husband makes unhealthy choices when he’s on the run at the hospital. Another friend eats fewer sweet treats than she might because of her husband’s aversion to sugar.

My husband and sons, like a lot of men, put a high value on convenience when it comes to eating. I try to make it easier for them to make good food choices. I usually keep washed grapes on the counter, knowing they’ll be gone in no time. (If I leave them packaged up in the fridge, they often sit there and rot.) I try to keep individually packaged string cheese, baby carrots, apples and yogurt in the front of the fridge where my guys can grab them.

Some of our happiest times as a family are spent over a great meal accompanied by lively conversation and lots of good-natured teasing. I’ve been razzed over the years about
my plate-watching habits and my sometimes overzealous approach to good nutrition. The men in my life help me appreciate that great food is much more than just nutrients and calories.

Rachel Johnson, Ph.D., M.P.H., R.D. is senior nutrition advisor to EatingWell Magazine and dean of the University of Vermont College of Agriculture & Life Sciences.

Good morning everyone, hope you all had a nice weekend.    We had beautiful weather, ended up at the beach both days, eating at the same restaurant both days, though yesterday we took it to go and had a picnic.     Day 1 I did great, yesterday I did not.      


Big thanks to Dawn for today's article, it's definitely something I struggle with and which I'm sure will get worse as Jake gets older and I have 2 men to feed.    

Dusta, I'm sorry you are having the temptation of eating out (with limited choices) so much on this trip.     I know how hard it is!    For Tuesday, can you bring your own salad if you aren't sure there will be one with gumbo?

Muril, sounds like you had a wonderful day (and meal) planned for the bday celebration   :)    LOL on the sunglasses, I am cursed when it comes to them, I never have a pair make the entire summer.

Betsy, I've never had tri tip either, thank you for the info!   I'm not sure how long Petey's has been there, at least a few years.    You'd probably drive right by it as a dive, the parking lot is a nightmare.   If you leave Hampton and head up rt 1A, it's on the left.    They also have a variety store in a separate location:    http://www.peteys.com/     We found it late one fall, after all the tourists had gone.   Food is fantastic, but 99% of it is fried.

Jet, still reading out here about the earthquake.   How scary!   We had one small one in MA when I was growing up, just enough to rattle the dishes.    

Debi, hope you had a wonderful weekend with your company!   The ice cream/bailey's blend is divine, and occasionally Tim adds a box of junior mints to it also.     He named it a "Cow tipper" a while back, I told him he should patent it.    :)

Jen, sorry about the issues with Sis.  Her bf sounds like a jerk.   My sis is 32 and has never lived on her own, except for at the dorm (all girls) for college and she came home 3 weekends out of 4.    She can barely function on her own, my dad still handles her car stuff, etc.    Oh, and don't get me started on her boyfriend, who is 38 and has never left home either.    This will be 10 years they've been together.     Bleh.

Pammie, good to see you back, way to go on the loss!   Sorry to hear about Ol P's girlfriend.     I agree about the BL, LOVED to see Bernie win over Mark    :)     It's good to hear that things finally clicked in for your DH, but Tim has a serious problem with just giving up if something's going to take any work, sacrifice or dedication on his part.     He has his blood work today, we'll see how he acts when the results get back. 

Dawn, I understand about the snowballing treats.    My problem is, if I don't keep things in the house, he will just stop at a convienence store, pay 3x what I would have spent, and then he is eating crap and wasting money.      Nothing aggravates me more than leaving him a lunch to make himself when I'm at my parents and he ignores it and goes to Burger King and spends $15.   It's not good for him, and it comes out of my grocery budget.     I wish DH was like your's and was supportive and wants to do this for himself.  


Well, it's not exactly that he's not supportive.    He wants me to be happy, and healthy and be able to do things with being selfconscious, etc, BUT he doesn't want it to affect him at all.    Does that make any sense.    Weekends feel like a long sprint across a field laced with landmines.     I can do great all week, plan for the weekend, and then I get the eye rolling or the concern that I'm not having a good time because I'm eating a salad or whatever.     I had no problem dropping weight/eating well when I was single, but now I find so much about my life is actually for ME, it has to be for 2 other people first.     

Anyway, enough of my complaining, Jake will be up any minute, he has school today and I'm going to the gym and to run a few errands.  

Good morning!!!

I'm ready for this week to be over cause Saturday night is our batchelor and batchelorette parties!!! It should go by fast...I have to take the flowers to my grandma's tonight, tomorrow night I'm going to my aunt's to work on the slideshow for the ceremony, Wednesday we are going to look at the house again and Thursday I get my hair cut.

Waving to everyone!
jen

Good morning Jolene and everyone!

Well we are still having aftershocks, but I slept through the one last night! LOL! I guess it was felt stronger in Illinois than Indiana!

I'm at work and have a ton of stuff to do.....I am leaving work a little early tonight to go.....................MUSHROOM HUNTING!!!! I am excited! Just hope no earthquake happens while I'm out in the woods! LOL!

Well I had better get my bum busy!

TTYL Jet

 Happy Monday Morning~!!

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. We had really good weather here & we took advantage of it. Saturday morning we went to the police range - dh has fire arms qualification coming up & he wanted to shoot a little. It was a nice day to be outside keeping him company.  Had lunch at a new cuban restaurant/grill, it ws really good!! I had this cuban sandwich - thin bread w/ mayo, mustard, pickle, something else, cheese & roasted pork; it was grilled up like a panini-type thing. Super Yummy!!!! Then we had mango shakes for dessert :-)   Not the best food day, but it was so good I refuse to feel guilty LOL!!!!  We finished the baby's room then watched a movie (Scarface). Sunday we did some yard & housework. DH cut the grass while I did some pruning & trimming. We're slowly getting the garage cleaned out. Again. Seems like it's always full  of junk!

Great article Jolene - I think it's true. When I waitressed I saw a lot of that - women almost always make a "better" choice than men. 

Jen - hope the week goes by fast for you :-) You've got a rockin' weekend coming up ~ don't do anything we wouldn't do.... LOL!!!!

Jolene - sounds like you had a great weekend. Sorry the last day of eating wasn't the best, but I'm glad you & Tim had such a nice time. My dh was the same as tim for a while - until he had his own light-bulb-moment about a healthier life style, it was hard. He was supportive in his own way, but he didn't want my choices to interfere with his choices. Wish I could give you some help, but it is still unknown to me why dh suddenly wanted a better lifestyle. Not sure what caused the turning point :-\

Jet - I can't believe you are still feeling the aftershocks, and having earthquakes!! That is so weird. Have fun mushroom hunting :-) 

dh took a few pictures of me this weekend, I'll post/email them when he finishes downsizing. Seems like I grew double the size overnight! She's been fussy, I think she's having a growth spurt that's moving faster than I"m growing ~ she seems irritated, like she can't get comfortable LOL!!! No one will ever convice me she doesn't already have attitude ROFL!!!!

hope everyone has a nice day

dawn

Good Morning.

 Jolene, I will check out the website.  I love fried NE seafood.  Yum.  I know what you mean about your dh.  I have teenage son a DH and when we out on Saturdays, they always order something fried for an appetizer.  Luckily, they eat a lot and I only get a taste. :0

Jen, wow you will have a busy week. I am getting my hair done tomorrow. Cut and highlights. 

Jet, that is unreal about the earthquakes. We have them here in So Ca. and they can scare the daylights out of you. 

Dawn, it sounds like your weekend was full.  I bet look adorable pregnant. Lol, on her attitude. 

I am going to run out to DH;s office for a bit.  Later this afternoon DD has a softball game.  We only have three more games. I can't believe it.  It is so much fun. 

I did a quick work out at 6 am but only 30 minutes as I skipped dinner and I was so hungry that I had to stop to go eat. LOL.

Have a great day. Hello to all that post later.

Betsy

Lunch time! I won't tell you what I'm eating. It's not good for me, you'll all hit me with a wet noodle! LOL!!

Jet I can't believe the whole earthquake thing!! So scary for us midwest folks that aren't use to them!!

Dawn I bet you look adorable!! My maid of honor will be 6 months on Saturday and she looks bloated. She's still in her jeans and just wears sweatshirts. Makes me sick!!

It's nice and sunny out side today!! Perhaps just maybe spring is really here!!!

Jen

LOL @ "wet noodle"  I haven't heard that in a long time ;-)  so - curiosity is making me ask what DID you eat?!?!?

I've been really lucky - I haven't retained much water, I think because I still exercise a lot. I can't run, but I'm walking that same 4 miles 3-4x's a week.  I looked chubby for a few months, like I had a thick middle. But since I hit the 6.5 month mark I definitely look pregnant. But only from the side LOL!!!!  From the front I still look thicker, from the back DH says I don't look any different (bless him!!). It's like I have a basketball under my shirt LOL!!! All belly.  I think part of it is genetic, my mom was this way. But I really think the couple of years of running helped me - metabolism stayed active; plus I was able to run into my 6th month. 

clothes - I can still wear my regular jeans, did have to buy one size larger recently. That's the second time I've had to do that. I'm carrying Samantha high so the low-rise jeans will zip & snap under my belly easily. I do have some maternity pants - a few pair of capries & a really cute skirt  found at old navy :-) As it stands, right now I've put on 18 lbs. Not bad, doctor says to expect 10 more in these last two months - about 4-5 lbs a month. 

Good afternoon.  Had soup for lunch, and trying to regroup before my two afternoon meetings. 

Jolene, I’ve never heard of that restaurant, but we usually hit Portsmouth and stop there!  Occasionally, we drive through Rye, but mostly stay up this end of the beach.  Glad you had a good weekend, though.  My DH has a policy….”don’t make your problems MY problems!”  That means when I used to ‘diet’, that did not give me permission to put him on a diet, too.  Now that he needs to watch what he eats, I’m his new best friend, because I know how to make healthy food taste good.  Funny how that works. He can still lose weight a lot quicker than I am.  No loss over the weekend, but I stayed the same, considering that I wasn’t really careful with food.  Mondays are always the “start over” day, aren’t they?  I hope to take off 3 more by the end of next week, but we’ll see. 

DH is home today, with Patriot’s Day being a holiday in MA and ME.  Lil’ Prince is on school vacation.  I have to say, I’m glad to be at work.  I did get some gardening done yesterday, but felt like crap most of the weekend.  I thought it was because we stopped after the quilt show and I had a grilled Reuben….yummy, but not what my stomach is used to.  I thought I’d feel better on Sunday, but I dragged around all day.  The quilt show was fantastic.  Those quilts are works of art, not something you throw over yourself while you’re watching TV.  I was impressed. 

Then we stopped at another store that sells wool fabric, for sewing or for rug hooking.  I now know where I’ll by fabric for my winter skirts!  The fabrics were beautiful. 

Dawn, I can’t believe you only have a few weeks left.  When I was pregnant with Ol’ Prince, I hardly showed until the last 8 weeks.  I was sick for the first 6 months, but I sure made up for lost time when I finally felt like eating!  My kids arrived fast….5 and 7 minutes respectively, and I still am surprised that Lil’ Prince can’t be on time for anything these day, considering how fast he made it out!  J

Jen, you’re closing in on the big day.  We celebrate 25 years in July, if we don’t kill each other first!  Heh heh. DH is much happier these days with warmer weather and the barn building to keep him occupied.  Anyway, our wedding was so hot that the top slid off the cake.  I think that may have been a warning!  (just kidding).    We are going to FL in Sept, if all goes well, but will probably go out to eat on our actual anniversary.  It has really flown by. Now if we could just get rid of the children…….

Ol’ Prince is still shell-shocked about the big breakup, but he’s at least eating, and DH is keeping him busy with yard work and projects.  I doubt if they get back together, but Prince is talking to us and is handling it better than I expected.  I do miss his GF, though.  It’s sad, but probably for the best.  20 is too young to settle down.  (Wish someone had told me that 30 years ago).

Hope you all have a great day.  PammieJ.

 Hi pammie~!!   glad Ol' Prince is doing better. Poor guy. I know - 20 is too young. But I'm calling the kettle black since I was 19 LOL!!!  At the time I didn't think twice, but now I can see why my parents went a bit nuts...

ok computer people - how do I post a pic? I have it on photobucket & it's ready to acess but I have no idea how I do that?!?!?  I'm not sure if I still have everyone's email address - new provider took over & I had to create a new address book so I know someone is missing..... 

 let me see if I have this figured out (doubtful~!)

 aha!!! I did it~!!!!!

ok - dh is going to be majorly p.o'd if he sees this, but here is one of both of us (we're squinting because he insisted we need to face the sun for the best light. Ha! So we get great lighting but we squint. nice)

Dawn you look so cute! :)

Jen did you feel the any of the earthquakes? I have only felt two myself, but they had on the news that we have had at least 15 since Friday!!! Yikes!!!

Waving to everyone!

Jet

Awwwwww, too cute!  Hey....there's green grass growing somewhere?????

PammieJ.

So glad I checked back in!  Dawn, what  cute pictures.  You look great!

Hey Pammie!  Hope you are doing well. 

Betsy