Sisters! I have a problem!Dh and I will be celebrating out 15th wedding anniversary on May 15. We never really went crazy for anniversary gifts. Mostly just a nice dinner and flowers. That is fine with me.

Problem, whil I was cleaning I found a bunch of reciepts staples together,of coarse I had to look. He bought me a $500 diamond bracelet. I really need so many other things, like a new couch, carpet, the list goes on and on.

i don't want to ruin his surprise,and the thing is he has been paying on this for almost a year. I don't want to hurt his feelings. But if you konw me I spend most of my tome cleaning, cooking, at and ice rink, or dance studio. It was such a sweet thought, but so not practical for me. Homestly i would rather have a few pairs of shorts and tops from old navy.

I don't ant to seem ungrateful but I really am not into expensive jewelry. i would rather costume jewelry. And I think the reason that he did this is that alot of the parents at my son's hockey have mega bucks, and my dh hears them taling about the jewels that they buy thier wives.

Sisters we NEED so many thing right now. For example my son needs new skates~at least $500 .

i don't want to hurt his feelings. but this is something that I really do not desire. I have been dropping some hints, like for aour anniversary I would love this cd.

What do I do? should I tell him or not? He really put alot of thought and took so much time to pay on this, So i don't want to hurt him.

We just need so many other things, and I really have no where to wear this.

Waht is your advice?

Jen

Hi Jen!

I have to say, I am sitting here reading this with as emotion as you did writing it-with a smile on my face.

You have both been through so much lately, and possiblyyour DH wants you to know how much he loves you-and I think that is just precious. He is the one that has been making the sacrifice paying for it and it is obvious that he wants to give you something that will last 'forever'.  Fifteen years is a milestone anniversary these days and however impractical it may seem to you, it is what he wants to do for you, don't you think?

These guys need their ego stroked~it may hurt him if you were to say you were SNOOPING-you bad girl-or worse, that you didn't like what he gave you. It could be a very sensitive area for you, but it could be sensitive for him, too. There might be an opportunity when you could ask if 'we' can really afford this and wait for his answer. Whatever it is, I KNOW you will say the right thing in return!

Let me be the first to wish you Happy Anniversary!

HUGS, Linda

 Jen, the diamond bracelet is something your DH wanted you to have.....something real special. I agree with Linda, you might hurt his feelings if you return it. Sometimes we have to put practical on the "side board".  You deserve something special for your Anniversary.  Your DH planned it that way as a surprize to you!!!

  Happy Anniversary!!!

Mary

Hi, Jen, it’s funny you ask this…..my son-in-law wanted to buy my daughter a tennis bracelet for her birthday…he ask me and I know my daughter and just knew she’d have a cow if she even knew he was entertaining the idea much less following through with it!

BUT….I listened to him ~ what he had to say changed my mind…the fact your DH has paid on this shows you how important you are and it’s his way of showing you….yes, we may NEED practical things but just once in your/my life I want to show you how much you mean to me, my advice (after listening to my son-in-law) was follow his heart.

My Daughter loves her bracelet….even though there were many, many things the money could have gone for she has to admit ~ when that beautiful bracelet flashes out of the corner of her eye or she’s putting in a load (or 5) of dirty clothes her heart smiles every time she catches a glimpse of it….I see the look in my sweet son-in-laws face when he thinks no one is watching of love and pride……he gave her something she loves and would have never in her lifetime spent the money on. Now! He may never do anything like that again **LOL**….but he did once and that’s the most important thing, a gift from the heart for you and your heart.

Don’t say a word (you have made me leak) and let your dear husband spoil you one day…it means more to him than anything! Feel spoiled and special for your special day, you deserve it!

Hi Jen,

Accept your husbands gift with the love it is given with.  Think of it as something that may one day become a family heirloom that was started with love for each other and passed down the same way .   We all need things and feel guilty spending when we feel we don't have it but accept it with enthusiam  and wear itoften.  When I married I had gotten some sterling silver from my grandparents and a friend of my mothers told me to use it often with my family.  She told me there are no more important people to eat with than your own family. We used sterling for many ordinary suppers and it became more beautiful with frequent washing than if it had stayed in a drawer for special occasions. It has since been handed down to one of my daughters who now uses it with her family and friends .  You are so lucky to have a husband that has thought ahead for a year and made a way to have it paid for before you get it so as to not put you in a bind all at one time taking the money when you may need that amount at one time.  Happy anniversary and put your bracelet on that day and wear it all day.  You'll love it and your husband and the thought that was put into it.   Hope you will have many more years ahead.  ( Plenty of years for a new toaster, pots and pans etc as gifts)  LOL

Evelyn

Oh Jen, your DH sounds so nice.  My opinion is that you should accept the bracelet.  I can't think of a way for you to decline it without hurting DH's feelings.  Just think in 15 more years you can look at the beautiful bracelet-even if you save it for the most special occassions- and think-oh I remember when DH got me this.  I'm not sure if you could do that with a couch or shorts and shrits.  It sounds like your DH has really put a lot of thought into getting you a very special gift.-so whatever you decide to do, you should treasure that.

My thoughts are the same as everyone elses.  This is something that means a great deal to him.  Accept the bracelet and ENJOY it!

Also, my advice...stop cleaning up receipts around major events!!!!!!

AND, don't let on that you know ANYTHING; give him the acknowledgment of the gift and his love for you that it deserves!

You are very lucky!

Karen

After 31 years of marriage, Jen, may I step in here on this for a minute?  Since Mac  passed I guess  I am seeing things from this side of things , as all others have said this is his way of showing you how much he loves you,  I have two pieces of jewelry that Mac paid much more for then I would have (he never knew I felt that way and I wore the jewelry) but now as I look at them and ware them (I thought I never would at the time he gave them) the memories that come with them mean so much to me,so I think I would not say anything about seeing the papers and act surprised when you get the gift from him.   He sounds like a great DH. . enjoy your special day

Jen,

What a wonderful gift...it is more than the cost of the bracelet, but the "act" of selecting it, making payments and the best part for him is the surprise he has planned for you.  He is so anxious to see the look of amazement on your face when he presents it to you.  The best gift you can give him is the priceless gift of acceptance.  What a special and loving thing for you both to give to the other.

nancy

Oh Jen, I know what you are feeling and there's probably other things that you would want.  But you could have no idea the saddness it would bring to him if you didn't except this with excitement and delight.  As years go by it will mean so much to you.  And if you were to put a stop to this - there's a good chance this could be one-of-those-actions you might regret. You also need to keep quiet about this for now to let him have happiness of presenting this to you in the manner he has planned because your sweetheart has probably prepared something special for the presentation as well - there's a TV show here broadcast some wonderful ways a man has proposed (or in one case the woman proposed) and I always enjoyed watching. 

Besides he's been "paying up" this gift for a long time, and so probably he has determined not to spend on some expendable, run-of-the-mill daily expense, but rather he has planned and carefully put aside money for the woman he loves.  Stop the hints NOW.  Receive his token of love with an open heart.  

And remember Jen... we'll all be waiting to hear...

jeanie

WEll I agree with everyone else! Enjoy it! I can't imagine my husband planning for a year like that!! My husband gave me a beautiful black hills gold necklace for my birthday...well he left it on my pillow the day after my birthday.  I really blew it cause I was so upset that he never even said Happy birthday to me ON my birthday.  I didn't react to his gift the way he wanted me to. It hurt him very bad! I did everything I could to say I was sorry....but I dont' think it really worked.  Course he never said sorry for not telling me Happy Birthday on my birthday...but that's him! Don't blow it Jen!!!! Believe me it hurts!!! Our 30th anniversary is the 13th. I doubt he does anything at all this year. (Wipe the tears away as I type this) So just enjoy his thoughtfulness..the other things can wait!! Hugsssssssssssssssssssssss and good luck! I can't believe he left the receipts for you to find!! lol

Hope everyone is having a great day. So far so good here. Hugssssssssssssssssss Evie

Oh sisters! Well you all have me crying! Thank you for the advice. And I know you are all right. Ya know he really never had a romatic bone in his body, then he goes and does this. I just feel so guilty taking such an expensive gift. But he really did put alot into it.

And i was just going to make him a scrapbook, from when he was younger and used to bmx bike race. His mom gave me alot of newspaper clippings and pictures that he hasn't seen in a while.

Well If he wants something more expensive, he is going to have to up my allowance. LOL

thanks for the advice. i wasn't trying to seem like I was not appriciative. i truly fell bad.

However this is not going to let him off of the foot massage i usually get. Could it be that my feet are so bad that all of that money for a bracelet is worth trying to not touch my feet?

Thank you

Jen

Oh and also, i don't know why he didn't hide it better, guess that he is a guy. And I will never let on that i knew about it.Men just have a harder time being sneaky than women. LOL.

Jen

Jen - I think the scrapbook idea is GREAT.  Remember it is not always the cost of the gift and you will be putting so much work and love into the scrapbook.  That is something money can't buy.

rvgirl

Oh Jen, the scrapbook will be priceless!  I am sure he will love looking through it.  I made something like that for DH for Valentines day.  He looks at it often. 

And you made me laugh with that remark about the foot rubs!