Today, I - GmawMary - officially give up!

After 8+ years of dealing with my dil - I just can't do it anymore.  Those of you who have been around here for awhile and listened to my stories of ruined Christmases, ruined family reunions and gigantic temper tantrums may not be surprised at what happened today.  My dil gave birth to their son last night.  Healthy and good sized.  We talked to our son last night and everything was good.  Today they sent pictures and a Hallmark E-Card birth announcement.  We ordered a very cute floral bouqet - not huge - but still far from cheap.  The florist just called me and said dil refused the flowers - no explanantion whatsoever.  I have no idea why.  I know it isn't allergies.  Why couldn't she just politely say "thanks" and send the flowers to the nurses' station?  Why deliberately hurt my feelings?  Oh - wait - she is the only one allowed to have hurt feelings.  I don't even know if she even asked who sent them.  I told my dh that I am just done.  I just can't do this anymore.

 

I am so sorry that you should be hurt this way. I cannot, for the life of me, understand such cruelty.

We love you. And we care. - Marion

Take a deep breath gramma, you have a new grand baby to love.Your hurt but ya know what your the bigger person. I would not say a thing about it . As far as she'll ever know you don't know she refused them. Don't give her the satisfaction. Oh congrats love my grandson so I know your thrilled.

gameball:

I would not say a thing about it . As far as she'll ever know you don't know she refused them. Don't give her the satisfaction.

 

I agree.

She sounds like a nut.

I know and sympathise. My DDs in-laws have 5 sons who all like to show their butt whenever there is a family function. And their is a question of who the father of SILs baby is. There is so much back stabbing going on, that the city should be knee deep in blood by now. Her Mil has gotten to the point that she will not have them all there at one time except Christmas Eve. My Ex husband always ruined our personal Holidays to the point that I dreaded them. Although you have to deal with the Drama Queen don't let her cut you off from your DS and New DGS. Congradulations by the way.

((((gmawmary))))

Go ahead and give up. You've tried for far too long and been hurt far too many times because of this twit. Pay no more attention to her. Have all your contact with DS and interact with the twit only when you absolutely need to. Do not go out of your way anymore for her. Concentrate on keeping your relationship with your son and on developing one with your new grandson.

I feel better all ready - just having your support.  I don't want to say anything to my two dds or my sister because they'll just cut her off and subsequently my son.  So to be able to sound off to all of you really does help.  The lady at the florist offered to refund part of my money but I told her not to - but rather to give the flowers to the nurse's staff to set on their counter.  I asked her to put a note with it something to the effect of "in appreciation" and sign our name.  I figure in a couple of days they'll understand just what it is that I meant.

What a horrible, rotten, b!tchy, **$#!@!!( thing for her to do to you.  I'm so sorry.

 

I agree that I wouldn't even acknowledge this, I'd never mention it again....maybe she'll wonder when you don't say anything about it.  I might even consider lying if she were to ask and let her explain her actions.  But then again....she's not worth it.

 

Congrats on the new grandbaby....sorry it took her petty actions to mar the moment.

ReneeC___NCalif:

What a horrible, rotten, b!tchy, **$#!@!!( thing for her to do to you.  I'm so sorry.

 

I agree that I wouldn't even acknowledge this, I'd never mention it again....maybe she'll wonder when you don't say anything about it.  I might even consider lying if she were to ask and let her explain her actions.  But then again....she's not worth it.

 

Congrats on the new grandbaby

 

That pretty much says it in a nutshell for me!

 

I'm sorry your relationship is so hurtful.  What does your son say or do about the situation?  I know he might be caught in the middle, but you are his Mom.  The only thing is, if you make too much out of this, she holds the cards as far as your grandchildren.  And being a Grandma myself, it would kill me if I couldn't see my grandkids.  Sounds like she needs to be the center of attention.  Your grandkids probably like to come to your house to get some peace.

 First, congrats on a new baby in your family. Second, I agree that you shoulds say nothing about the flowers.  You can just take the high road for the sake of your son and new grandbaby.  And a plus is that it will drive her nuts!!!  So, a little high road with a little lesson taught as well...complain here, not to the others if you can help it.  This awful type of behaviour usually ends up biting people like that girl in the butt...it just takes some time.

I don't blame you at all. I am sorry that you have to endure this kind of treatment from her. It is obviously her loss. I do hope that you will continue to pursue a relationship with your son and the new baby. I can't imagine though, why your son allows her to be disrespectful to you. He might not be able to stop her completely, but he could intervene in some way hopefully that might improve the situation, especially since their is a new baby to consider. I do hope that she changes her attitude since she is now responsible for raising a child.

 happy new family member....

 

I have the motherinlaw from hellO, and being DONE is just about the best thing I ever did...I can talk and be nice....but that's it...I do speak my mind when needed...

 

I try and be a good motherinlaw in turn....

 

so I do feel for you and the family....but I must agree.....saying nothing....let her stew..

LOL I'm such a witch. I'd have had to go get those flowers from the florist, make sure my son was in the room with the ungrateful cow, and I'd waltz right in there with the flowers held high, and a big smile on my face. She'd look like the biggest @ss if she refused them that way. But then my son and I would have a heart to heart talk about his wife's behavior. Two years ago one of our sons was mad at my dh, and when their baby was born, he didn't even call to tell us. We found out from my mother in law by phone the next day! I saw red. I tried calling him, but he wouldn't answer. Finally I emailed him and told him just exactly what I thought about his using an innocent newborn as a weapon in the fight against his father, and that I thought that was about as low as a person could go. He finally called his dad and they worked things out, and today everything is fine. Do you know this DIL's mother or father well enough to talk to them about it?