Today, I - GmawMary - officially give up!

BarefootCrone:

Do you know this DIL's mother or father well enough to talk to them about it?

 

This sounds like a good idea.

((((gmawmary))))

(((( GmawMary )))))

             I'am so sorry this happened to you on such a joyous occasion.  What a WITCH with a big (B) !!!.

           Congrats on this new little bundle of joy and don't let her ruin it for you.

                                              Hugs, Cassiebabe

  P.S.  Tell us his name and stats when you can. :)

                                              

Dear GMaw, So sorry about your DIL's rudeness to you, especially on such a special occasion as your Gbaby's  birth.  A screwed up DIL and MIL relationship can be the most hurtful of relationships.  She obviously has problems that you will probably not be able to solve.  Your son is in a precarious position, caught right in the middle.  I sympathize with you, been there, done that, used to have the tee-shirt.  Don't stoop to her level as often as you can manage it.  A hard prescription I know.  But the truth is that type of person enjoys hurting someone as often as she can.  Try nt to give her the satisfaction.  God bless you and Congrats on that new Grand!

mimit10:

Dear GMaw, So sorry about your DIL's rudeness to you, especially on such a special occasion as your Gbaby's  birth.  A screwed up DIL and MIL relationship can be the most hurtful of relationships.  She obviously has problems that you will probably not be able to solve.  Your son is in a precarious position, caught right in the middle.  I sympathize with you, been there, done that, used to have the tee-shirt.  Don't stoop to her level as often as you can manage it.  A hard prescription I know.  But the truth is that type of person enjoys hurting someone as often as she can.  Try nt to give her the satisfaction.  God bless you and Congrats on that new Grand!

 

 I couldn't have said it better!  Mary, I thought about you this afternoon as I was stirring your potato salad dressing on the stove - I wish I could give you a hug in person.  You don't deserve this, but at least you have a new sweet little grandbaby boy and that's the important part!

(((Gmaw)))

I am picturing myself in the hospital after giving birth to my first daughter. A bouquet of flowers arrive I am thrilled that someone wants to celebrate with me.  Remember that.  That is what a normal person would experience - you are not wrong - it is her problem.

 

 First of all, congrats on the new grandbaby!

Janetplanet:

I am picturing myself in the hospital after giving birth to my first daughter. A bouquet of flowers arrive I am thrilled that someone wants to celebrate with me.  Remember that.  That is what a normal person would experience - you are not wrong - it is her problem.

 

I so agree!  This woman sounds as though she is not dealing with a full deck.  What does your son have to say about this?

brigid

I am sorry that you had this experience with your DIL on what should be the happiest day of their lives.  She sounds like she has a very severe problem.  I have a great deal of respect for you GmawMary, you sound like a very kind and considerate person.  Be there for your son -- he is going to need you in the future.

 

Also, I have a BIL who I do not get along with.  I have finally stopped trying to like him after almost 40 years and I finally feel like I am free!  I still do not like him but the burden of trying to like him is now lifted and it feels good.  I assume that you will have to do something similar with your DIL -- for your son's sake and your grandbaby's sake, I hope that you can do it -- it is not easy...

I thought I'd answer a couple fo the questions I saw while reading all of the posts.  My son already knows.  He called my dh while he and I were out doing some shopping yesterday.  He asked dh if we'd sent flowers and proceeded to tell his dad how the delivery guy came and brought the flowers and she freaked out - didn't even ask who they were from - just yelled at the guy to take the flowers and get out - which explains how strange the lady from the florists sounded when she called me.  Apparently they had registered as private so no one could get their room number.  They have no friends - she's driven them all away - all relatives were informed that they were not welcome to come to the hospital except her mom. (We live over a thousand miles away)  Why all the cloak and dagger stuff I do not know.  She is just a flippin freak.  Her mom and 2 of her sisters are just as crazy as she is.  Her third sister is fairly nice and normal as is her dad.  So there's no talking to her mom and her dad is working overseas.  Has anyone here ever heard of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?  I'm not talking about someone who is narcissistic - but the actual disorder.  It's her - in a nutshell. (note the play on words)  It's sad - she refuses to get help and my son refuses to insist she get help.  He tried to enlist her family's help once and they came at him claws extended.  So instead - they have a baby.  OMG.  I've decided to not speak with them when they call today - so I don't say something I'll regret later.  I'll let myself cool down for a few days. (We had decided just to let it go - also to not say anything about it to our 2 daughters but since ds already knows, I'm not sure how we'll handle it.) 

Okay, so at least it wasn't directed at you personally. She would have done that if the flowers had come from anyone. Not excusing her behavior, not at all. You should still step back and not waste your energy and effort anymore, but take a little tiny bit of comfort in the fact that she wasn't lashing out at YOU.

Not this time anyway.  A year ago she told me that the 4 months she didn't speak to me was the happiest 4 months of her life.  LOL!  The day after that statement I asked my sil if I was difficult to deal with - he laughed very loudly and said that it was quite the opposite!

I haven't read all the posts, because the first few really ticked me off, then BFC said "ungrateful cow" and I just cracked up.

Anyway, where the heck is your son??? What is his take on this?

GmawMary:

Not this time anyway.  A year ago she told me that the 4 months she didn't speak to me was the happiest 4 months of her life.  LOL!  The day after that statement I asked my sil if I was difficult to deal with - he laughed very loudly and said that it was quite the opposite!

 

Okay, scratch what I said, never mind. The woman is certifiable.

Fryegirl59:

Anyway, where the heck is your son??? What is his take on this?

After the fiasco at the family reunion last summer (she refused to be in the "once-of-a lifetime-every single-person-was-there family photo" and wouldn't speak to me for 3 months) my son and I had some really serious "she needs help" discussions.(There have been a few other occasions where she hasn't spoken to us for anywhere from 4-6 months.  When she's done being mad she just calls out of the blue - no apologies or anyhting)  He assured me several times that they were "working" on things.  I finally spilled my guts to him on some things she had done that had really hurt family members.  He claimed he had no idea and again assured me that they were working on things.  Then all of a sudden they announce they're pregnant.  I guess that was their idea of how to fix things.  I haven't talked to him since the night Jacob was born.  He said he'd call Sunday.  He spoke briefly to my dh about the flowers.  I have no idea where his head is at.  The whole thing is kind of sad.  He was always this incredibly kind, caring and very straighforward guy till he got involved with her and her family.  Now her feelings are the only ones ever considered, he's very secretive and sometimes even deceitful.  There's always this little part of me that wonders if she's verbally abusive - or worse - very controlling at the least.