A fine post, my fine friend. I cannot speak for anyone but myself. I don't think you meant me, but I am certainly guilty of what you describe.
Disney, people fear what that do not know. By extension, people fear WHO they do not know. Some take that fear and invent whole personalities for people just so they can have SOME kind of bearing in dealing with those people they fear. In most cases those invented personalities are so far off the mark it's either laughable or pitiable, but the bottom line i, the invented personality is far off the mark. But it doesn't matter. Once the invented personality is in place, it sticks for a long time, and with that in place, they see no reason to change their thinking or truly get to know someone. For some it means inventing personalities that are horrid. That's the safer bet, always, because it doesn't matter that 9 times out of 10 the person doesn't conform to the invented personality, when they actually do exhibit those traits you've invented for them, you can easily fall back onto the old, "see, I told you so" routine, and suddenly people think you're wise for it. For others, it means inventing personalities that are too good, and when the person they do not know does something in opposition to the personality they've invented, they call you down and say, "I thought you were a better person," as if you're responsible for their interpretation of you. Those are the people who are always disappointed, and frequently call the first type "wise". It's a rare person who can actually see you for what you are.
I know love too, Dis, and having been one of those people who has said many hate-filled things, I must respectfully disagree with you that those people don't know love. For my own part, it took me a long time to recognize that love was all around me. Some might never realize that love is all around them, but it doesn't mean they don't know what it is. They merely choose not to partake.
I choose to partake. I love you, Dis.