A question re: a childs birthday party

 My DS just recieved an invite to his friends bday party in 2 wks.  On the invite it states that its a combined bday party for not only DS's friend but his younger brother and sister as well.  It also states the childrens ages and what they would like for their bday.  Does this mean I have to get all 3 children a gift?  The brother is 6 and the sister is 2.  DS is 12 and I do not think he even plays with the other 2 at all.

That is downright tacky.  Sounds like they want a gift for each child.  Ask if your son gets a party favor bag and extra cake to share with his own siblings.  Better yet, ask if his siblings can come along, too!  Never heard of such a thing!

I would say you don't "have" to do anything!  Do whatever you feel is right--get one gift or all 3!  Still, wording the invitation like that is totally tacky!

When I have b-day parties for my kids, DD's godparents get gifts for both kids, just so the one who isn't the birthday kid doesn't feel left out.  My parents also used to do that with some of my cousins.

 

Well, while inititally it sounds like they are trying to get presents for all the kids, I can't imagine that someone would actually do that.

 

So, maybe she knew ahead of time she was having a combo party (are all the birthdays close together I wonder?) and so instead of getting individual invitations for each childs friends, she just put together one that covered everyone. She wouldn't have to try and keep straight which invitation goes with with kids friends. You know that your son is friends with one child, so you get a present for that one only. If he really wants to go, I'd say do it, and if anyone says anything about presents for the other siblings, I'd just laugh it off and say, "Oh my, well that just didn't make sense to me since my son only plays with (childs name).....I figured the invite was a "blanket" invite".

Keep us posted......I'd be curious to see how this plays out.

Any mention of gifts on an invitation is tasteless. It doesn't matter if it's a bridal or baby shower, a housewarming, or a kids' party--it's just such bad taste to mention gifts.

 

I would just get something for the one who is your son's friend. If they threw individual parties, he wouldn't have been invited to the younger ones', so it's fine to just bring a gift for the one he truly is friends with.

DinosandKayesmom_IL:

It also states the childrens ages and what they would like for their bday.

The only time I've ever heard of anything similar was a joint party for two best friends who happened to share a birthday.  Since 90% of the guests were friends with both, they always had a combined party.

 

However, the relatives of the birthday child, or the few attendees who only knew one child, would only bring a gift for the child they knew.

 

The part that makes ME curious is the "what they would like for their birthday".  I have never heard of an invite for a child's birthday party that includes a wish list.  That sounds like a wedding registry or a baby shower registry. 

 

If it were me, I'd buy one gift for the child I knew (the 12 year old) and get a card for the younger two. 

I agree with RedLisa.  It sounds like an all-inclusive card sent to all invitees and you just bring a present for the friend of your child.

jaejme:

godparents get gifts for both kids, just so the one who isn't the birthday kid doesn't feel left out.

Just my opinion but I don't like this practice.  What's so special about a birthday if all the kids get presents?  Kinda takes the 'special' out of having a birthday.  I can understand doting aunts and godparents, etc. and I understand the loving intentions, but the kid's birthday should be a special day only for him.

So are all 3 kids really having birthdays this month, or is mom just soliciting gifts for them all?

If it is truly a combined birthday party, I would get a small token gift for each of the younger kids, and a real gift for the actual friend.  Or better yet, one gift of a game or toy which all could share--something like a slip-n-slide that they'd play with together.

If you think the other kids are not having birthdays, and that mom just "doesn't want them to feel left out" I'd say only get a gift for your child's friend.

In any case, and in all cases, is it inappropriate to include instructions on what gift someone wants in an invitation.  Always feel free to ignore gift registries and other such attempts to "shop" you at gift time.  At most, consider them suggestions.

BlueDenim_MI:

jaejme:

godparents get gifts for both kids, just so the one who isn't the birthday kid doesn't feel left out.

Just my opinion but I don't like this practice.  What's so special about a birthday if all the kids get presents?  Kinda takes the 'special' out of having a birthday.  I can understand doting aunts and godparents, etc. and I understand the loving intentions, but the kid's birthday should be a special day only for him.

Wouldn't be my choice, either, but DD's godparents (close friends of ours) are very generous people & when you're also talking about little ones who don't understand why their sister or brother is getting presents & they aren't, it makes it a little more fun for the non-birthday kid.  They are the only ones of all the people we invite who do this.

The combination party is nothing new, I've seen that before for siblings whose birthdays are close together. How you want to handle the gift(s) is up to you, either one for your son's friend, one for the friend and smaller token gift for the other two, or even one that all three could share----like a game.

 

The tacky part is listing what each child would like for a gift. I just about blew a gasket when I found out there are now gift registries for kids for their birthdays and Christmas. I feel that registries should only be for bridal couples and parents-to-be.

Just gift for your son's friend. If your son wanted to make hand made BD cards for the other two that would be nice. The 3 named might be for family thats coming they would be bringing for all 3 or close friends of the family,,but a b.d. boy's child friend is different.

 Gee, life just gets more complicated all the time, doesn't it???  I think I would get the more $$ gift for the kid your child knows...then 2 smaller ones for the little ones.  This may be tacky on the mom's part, but it is not worth hurting feelings of little kids.  You might put dollar bills according to their age in a card, or maybe $5. to McDonalds gift card each for the little ones.  Or, take the bull by the horns, call the lady and ask her what she expects people to do for gift giving.  With 3 kids she may have slapped those invites together in such a hurry she didn't take time to proof read.  (I'm trying to be nice and more tolerant of people and give them the benifit of the doubt ).

Actually, now that I think about it, I could almost see us getting into a similar situation someday.  DH has a nephew whose b-day is 2 days before our DS's.  We may never have a "combined" party for the two kids, but, if we did, I would want to invite other people besides blood relatives (my kids' godparents) who wouldn't know the other child well.  I wouldn't expect those people to provide gifts for both kids.  Like I said before, DD's godparents give both of my kids gifts on each of their b-days, Christmas, & candy or stickers for other holidays.  Generous people!  We appreciate it, but don't expect it & certainly wouldn't discourage it, if they feel that's what they want to do.

A couple of times for Christmas gifts for my cousin's 2 kids, I got games that they could play together.  One was an activity book that was a little advanced for the younger one, but pretty age-appropriate for the older one.  Last year, I got them a tabletop basketball game.  They don't mind getting something they can do together like that. 

Sorry, got a little off the topic there!  Just thinking as I'm typing & get a bit chatty!

I agree that it's pretty tacky of the parent to do.  However, I don't think the poor little kids should have to pay for their parent's lack of manners. 

 

What I'd do is spend the amount of money I'd normally have spent on the one gift for the actual friend, but I'd divide it up among the 3 of them.  Most likely, they'd get books.  That way each has something to unwrap, the giver isn't actually out anything for the extra gifts, and no one goes home feeling badly about the situation.