Is this going postal?

Rest easy, Starchild.

Just because some do not like that we talk about things which are  not important to THEM   doe not mean we cannot talk about them. . Actually, we KNOW what is importamt in OUR lives but we can also talk about things that are not so importanmt. It does not make us forget what is important to US, in OUR lives and life in general. Our small talk is just that, small talk.

I feel sorry for people who cannot let go and indulge in a little small talk now and then. They are too uptight and that is hard on the nrves and  results in an unhappy life.

The workers in that office do not put the forwarding label on the mail. They pull it out and send it to the nearest central forwarding system for the region if it is flat such as a magazine or a manila envelope or a parcel. If It is a letter, it could be sent to a central forwarding system if it is a smaller office or it could be sent to the nearest large general mail facility and run through a machine called PARS (Postal Address Recognition System) and that machine will put the forwarding label on it. I work in a central forwarding system.

If that is how the postmaster and the clerk truly acted, then they should not have acted that way. But it is wrong to assume that nobody in the entire post office organization cares because a lot of us do care about people. Now, I will say that having been put in the situation where I have been farmed out to a station and forced to work a Dutch window with very little training, it is extremely frustrating if an irate customer comes in (and believe me it happens). One day a guy came in screaming at me because he had never turned in a change of address and his unemployement check had been returned to sender because his apartment was empty. It was his position that we should have known that he moved and that therefore it was out responsibility to call the unemployment office and tell them to mail it to his new address. I'm sorry, but we have absolutely no way of knowing when, where or if someone has moved unless they tell us they have moved. Now what I always do if I get stuck in that situation is get a supervisor or the postmaster because they at least have better training in dealing with people. Like I said, if that is what happened, the postmaster and clerk should not have done that and they should be reprimanded. But it is wrong to assume that nobody at the complaint department will listen. I am neither defending nor attacking the post office because it is wrong to condemn a whole organization on the basis of what one or two people do. There is always the option of going higher up than that postmaster in the chain. There has to be a larger town somewhere that has a higher manager than that. They cannot keep her from getting her mail. The only thing they could have done is if when they put the notice up that the rent was due (which they usually do at least a couple weeks in advance) and it was not paid on time, they can close the box and return it to the sender for nondelivery. Usually the stations here will give the person a couple of days leeway

Small talk... we know that's what it is, but sometimes it feels good to vent and share.

I've often thought, it must be really terrible to NOT have someone to talk to, to share with, even the things that really aren't all that important.

 I used to write letters (penpals) for years, that was such a big part of my life, but people drifted apart (some got old and died) and I got into writing on the internet instead.

 In a way it's group therapy and also good chance to practice not caring what others who might not agree say.

  But, Martha M did have a point, it's not that big a deal, and didn't even happen to me...

  Sometimes we need a laugh. Like the long article that was written about my DD and her SO and their recent "domestic" which was a blow up and was made into something a lot bigger and written about like it was in the paper. I finally heard what it said and it was not accurate. If the reporter got this from the court records they must be wrong. And, it went on and on, like every detail of every day and how many times he called her, and sent her emails saying he was going to kill himself, etc. One of the times the police measured the distance where he had been (supposedly)standing on the street by the house. The first court order had said 500 feet, the 2nd one said 300. The police measured it and it was 299 feet, so they arrested him AGAIN.  (they put all this in the article) And. how he said he had only come back to get his clothes (he thought he could come there and have the police meet him, but he was supposed to have the police come with him and pay them $25 for doing it) And,he had stood where he thought it was 500' from the house, and asked someone to ask DD (since he couldn't talk to her) if she coudl call the police and have them come while he got his clothes.

  So, today another DD called and said "do you want to laugh?" After all that's been going we need something...

  Her son (age 21) had been stopped by the police for..... having  an air freshner hanging from the rear view mirror". They let him off with a warning THIS TIME!

   They must be having a slow day, they didn't get to arrest DD's SO one more time.

   (I have heard of people getting stopped and even tickets for having a lot of stuff hanging from the rear view mirror, but don't think I've even known it to actually happen.) 

 And, don't tell the police, because he'd go back to jail again, but he and DD are talking and working things out. He's going to get help (though he had been, but more serious) for anger and the kids were crying and wanted to talk to him. According to the court order he couldn't even talk to his kids on the phone.

   He didn't really do anything but get mad and smash things. He didn't beat her our the kids up.

  Not saying anger isn't serious and needs to be worked on, but they've been together 15 years and have two kids (and buying a house) together. They need to talk.

But why wouldn't they take her payment for the PO box? She came in to make the payment. Do they accept all forms of payment (cash, check charge)?

Starchild, our responses crossed and I posted mine to ask Grateful about paying for that box.

You are deluged with all kinds of problems from your daughter. And since she has a 21 yr old she is certainly old enough to take care of her own life. Maybe she needs to get out of that town and start anew. Either way, I really think you need to let go of her problems and let her be responsible for the choices she makes. Same for your 21 yr old grandson, he is old enough to take responsibility for his decisions...granted the air-freshener police stop was ridiculous.

But you raised your kids, and you are done with that stage of your life. Let them do what they are going to do and not get involved in it. Do not get so immersed in their problems. Be the strong one and tell them the best way to handle things if they call, and let it go. AND DONT LOAN THEM MONEY they will take advantage of you, never learne to be responsible for themselves, have no reason to better themselves, AND they will never be able to pay it back.

Think about this. There are times when our heart rules over what we know to be the better and more sensible approach to situations. Think about how in the past, when you've helped your daughter, has it really helped in the long run, has she LEARNED TO HELP HERSELF? MarthaM said something about teaching her...about anger management, etc...that was a good point. Be the strong one, take a deep breath, be clear in your message to her, and don't waver, and get on with your life. Unburden yourself!

Iris 

And since she has a 21 yr old she is certainly old enough to take care of her own life.

 That is another daughter (with the 21 year old son who got stopped for the air freshner)

 The one with the post office incidents has a 10 and 1 year old. And she didn't want me to take care of her life, she was just raving about what had happened over the past few days.

 She did pay for the post office box, trying to explain why she was late (after the woman had rudely reminded her about it) and the woman put her hand right up in her face and said she didn't need to hear any details, just pay for the box. I think that's what set it off. And the postmaster (man) got into it. All the woman had to do was say "that's okay, you don't have to explain why you are late".

 The next day, after thinking about it, she went in to cancel the box, and brought her sister (the one with the 21 year old) in as a witness and support.

 They gave her a form to fill out and when she asked (the woman) a question about something on it, the postmaster man came out from somewhere and said "just sign it". I don't know what she paid, but she was getting $11 back, and they started in again about her coming in and starting trouble, so she told them to keep their $11 she didn't want to stay there and listen to this, the man told her "there's the door, use it". Her sister (the one with the 21 year old who had just opened a shop in town and a po box for the business) said she wanted to cancel her box too, now, after seeing how customers there were treated. As they left the postmaster yelled after them "where will you get your mail?"  He didn't say he wouldn't forward it.

   One of the DDs said "anywhere but here".

    They were just surprised what was made from this, over several days.

    Some of the time there were others in there getting mail, but they didn't get involved.     It's not a very big town. This was before the story came out  in the paper about the DD's SO and their domestic (arguement) problems.

    And it is good to get feedback from a postal employee here. I think we were all just surprised at this, how the woman and man (postmaster) got so into it, and name calling, yelling, etc. Maybe they have a lot of people come who don't like being treated that way. (I once called there, though it';s not my post office, to try and verify I had the correct address of someone I wanted to send a sympathy card to. The person who answered was NOT pleasant and told me they were not allowed to give out address information, and never had been. Well, I didn't KNOW this, now I do. They could have been polite and friendly about it.)

     I must have missed something, or wrote something about lending or giving my kids money? I do help them when I can, if I can. Not just money, in any way.

    Actually, something recently reminded me of a bible quote and when I went to look it up (first one) I thought of another one, too. I'm not really a bible quote person (as in preaching and trying to make people believe my way) but I have read and been interested in the teachings of Jesus. Especially where it involved love and caring.

Matthew 25

 

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

  

Hebrews 13

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares

  I used to have the bottom one written on a card on my wall for a long time.

  Actually, I first heard it a long time ago, the title of a book Dale Evans had written about a daughter and Roy had (their only child together) who was Downs Syndrome, if I remember right, had medical problems and didn't live long.

  We've had some interesting topics for discussion today, I think. And I didn't even keep up with some of the others  I saw subjects line of, that probably were just as interesting.

starchild:

    Actually, something recently reminded me of a bible quote and when I went to look it up (first one) I thought of another one, too. I'm not really a bible quote person (as in preaching and trying to make people believe my way) but I have read and been interested in the teachings of Jesus. Especially where it involved love and caring.

Matthew 25

 

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

  

Hebrews 13

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares

 

Always!! I have done it, and do it today.

But we are obligated to teach those to fish for themselves, who are capable.

Well

Well I hope this helps. I know it is not easy.

Iris