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Home > Group Home > Mom2Mom Recipe Chat > Are you a "helicopter mom"?

Are you a "helicopter mom"?

Last post Nov 03, 2007 5:58 PM by cathyat . 7 replies.


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    • Top 200 Contributor
    Joined: Aug 2004
    Posts: 8,205
    Posted: Oct 07, 2007 4:37 PM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 1
    Are you a "helicopter mom"?
    *****"A helicopter mom is a mom who hovers over every state in her child's development, from basically ... in utero, through the college years and beyond."*****

    I just saw an ABC report on this subject this morning and it made me stop in my tracks! I AM THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF A HELICOPTER MOM! I've been reading articles on this all morning and have decided I need to step back a little and let them make their own mistakes and learn from them. Wow...this is not gonna be easy and I know I will only be taking baby steps! I also found this interesting quote:

    "Our job as parents is to provide the gas, not fly the plane."

    Something to think about.....
    Kim

    False
    • Top 75 Contributor
    Joined: Nov 2007
    Posts: 18,751
    Reply Posted: Oct 07, 2007 8:59 PM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 2
    RE: Are you a
    Mine are 15(nearly),13,4, and 3.I don't think I hover.But my husband says Im a mother hen,and I tend to cluck around them.
    False

    • Top 500 Contributor
    Joined: Aug 2002
    Posts: 7,135
    Reply Posted: Oct 08, 2007 10:39 AM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 3
    RE: Are you a
    I totally hover. But, I have to say- that for the most part I'm not sorry. My boys, at 19 and 18, are respectful and mature (not to be confused with sophisticated). Not helping when my son registered for college was extremely hard for me- I knew he was struggling but I let him do it. I cried because I knew he was scared- but it was much harder on me than it was on him!

    My own brother became a father at age 19- so I hover. There has to be a balance between giving them freedom and keeping an eye on them. I know I didn't achieve that- I did hover too much. I'm doing a little better with my DD, who's 12. Eh, who am I kidding- I still hover! LOL!

    Kim- you are so right! Baby steps- I'm with ya!!

    Belinda
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    • Not Ranked
    Joined: Sep 2005
    Posts: 2,203
    Reply Posted: Oct 09, 2007 7:05 PM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 4
    RE: Are you a
    The private school my 16 yo son attends makes the boys responsible for most things. I have to continually ask him what's going on. Mostly I get "nothing" in reply. But I can see what they are trying to achieve so I bite my tongue, take the nasty remarks from son when he misses something, and let him make mistakes. To my great surprise, he informed me of an upcoming PSAT test and he had to "spectacular" on it to get a scholarship. He wanted to know what and how to study for it!

    Maybe some of all that nagging I've been doing for 5 years did stick between his ears!

    But I do keep those rotors in hover mode...just in case!

    Cathy
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    • Not Ranked
    Joined: Feb 2006
    Posts: 38
    Reply Posted: Oct 10, 2007 9:27 AM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 5
    RE: Are you a
    I have spent many years being a "Mother Hover." Someone pointed out that I was doing it and made a suggestion...to allow the girls some space...especially with making choices that probably aren't going to hugely change the course of thier lives. This will give them an opportunity to begin learning how to make good decisions while they are still at home and while DH & I are here to gently guide them. (They are only 12, 11 & 5, so we have several years.) :O ) There is a great possibility that they all will mess up many times...we all have...life is a learning process. I would rather have them mess up when DH & I are near enough to help them through than when they are off to college or several states away! I try to keep this in the front of my mind...some days I am successful & many other days I still hover...it's hard to change old habits...we just want the best for them!!
    False
    • Top 50 Contributor
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 22,965
    Reply Posted: Oct 10, 2007 10:28 AM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 6
    RE: Are you a
    No, I am not a hover. Maybe I should be a bit more, I don't know. I am the type of mom who let her kids fall off the coffee table and hurt themselves, and learn from that, rather then constantly take them off and tell them it could hurt. I let my kids fight it out between themselves, to the point of hitting each other, before I step in. They are already figuring things out on their own. Yes, I watch my kids, make sure they don't do somthing really stupid or hurtful. Live and learn.
    False
    • Top 200 Contributor
    Joined: Aug 2004
    Posts: 8,205
    Reply Posted: Nov 03, 2007 5:50 PM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 7
    RE: Are you a
    False
    • Not Ranked
    Joined: Sep 2005
    Posts: 2,203
    Reply Posted: Nov 03, 2007 5:58 PM in Mom2Mom Recipe Chat
    Post # 8
    RE: Are you a
    I love it. You let your kids fight it between themselves? Wonderful for you! Both my sons have black belts in TaeKwonDo and when they go at it I always tell them I've spent big $$$ for your classes thru the years, don't quit fighting, SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED! It almost always ends up with everyone laughing as they try to "best" each other!
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